i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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