oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
