sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
