i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Randomize