just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Randomize
