Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
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