Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
