My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
