You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
