You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
