I could have mohawked her pubes.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
