omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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