I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
