Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I'm at about main and main street
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
