Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
