so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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