i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Randomize
