Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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