is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
