I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize