lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
where am i from again
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize