So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Randomize
