i just had sex bonerless
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
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