it wasn't lemon gatorade
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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