perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
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