the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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