hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
even my farts smell like vagina
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Randomize
