It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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