And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
