I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
