You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Randomize
