yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
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