I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
