She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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