You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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