Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
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