If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
We are two peas in an std pod
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
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What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
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