im about as happy as oj after his trial
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
