I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
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