and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Randomize
