I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
