3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
