Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Randomize
