I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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