she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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