Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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