Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Randomize
