yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
