Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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