Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Randomize
