Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
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i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
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Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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