then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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