I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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