Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
