There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
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