I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize
