what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Randomize
