Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
