my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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