Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
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