whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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