he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
