please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize